dipc

nd lots of work. Lol

I am posting out of sheer procrastination of all things. I am getting a cold but it will be ok because i have soup, tea and a nice warm bed. And lots a

Careers, Dreams, and Reality.
1. What did you dream of being when you were a little child?
I wanted to be a fighter pilot.

2. What did you think you might become when you were between the ages of 12-13?
I wanted to be a lawyer and go into politics.

3. What career choices did you consider as a young adult?
Lawyer, social worker, teacher, architect, graphic design artist, clothing designer or buyer (I really would have liked that)

4. Did you follow along one of the career paths you considered?
Yes, I stayed with the social work path for quite a while now.

5. Have you changed careers since then? Was it by choice or necessity?
I am in the process of changing careers.  Special education will be a better way for me to be a change agent in the lives of children.    I think it was necessity for my own peace of mind.

Ok.  So Gerrell comes home this afternoon and tells me that they won't let him take his lactose pills.  My kids eat at school everyday, because I can't provide that type of lunch for any cheaper than what the school charges.  They won't let him take his pills they tell him, because they are not prescribed.  So I will be at the school first thing in the morning getting this straight.  The old nurse retired so there is a new nurse who has never met me. . . sigh.  Sometimes first meetings aren't pleasant.  I am so keyed up about this that I can't sleep.  I mean if they let him eat lunch without those pills he will throw up or spend the afternoon in the office crying because his stomach hurts.  Gerrell does not need to miss any instruction time!  He gets good grades, but he has to pay attention (which he barely does).  And I know they are not going to prepare him an alternative meal, because they will say that they have the salad bar.  He likes the salad bar, but what 6th grader wants that when everyone else is eating PIZZA.  Did I mention that I have a note at the school from the doctor stating that he is lactose intolerant and needs those pills to be able to eat lunch?  Now mind you he does not need the pills at home, because I use lactose free milk and only a little cheese in his stuff (VJ is actually allergic to dairy and eggs).  Ugh!  This drives me up the wall and back again!  I pay taxes just like anyone else and they are letting my son be sick.  Ugh.  I am going to go ahead and read my literature book, because if I keep talking about this, I will be up all night!!

Whew!  Went to see Dr. Gera today for treatments in my back.  My friend Sherrie drove me!  

Last week when we went even with the IV we were only there for an hour.  They put the IV in just in case I was allergic to the dye and they would need to save my life.  I didn't pay attention to them telling me this the first few times they told me.  Sometime around when she was taking it out, it struck me the purpose for the thing and I started to tell her to leave it in longer just in case I have some kind of delayed reaction.  She was all "If you start itching or getting nauseous call someone immediately."  Ugh!  Do not tell me stuff like this I am such a hypchondriac lol!  So last week, they put in four shots along my spine.  First they put the needles in - right on the nerve!  Next they put the dye in which hurts.  Then the put the medicine in which hurts so much more, because it is being injected right onto the nerve.  So I am laying there picturing myself walking in a meadow looking at some fish swimming in the water and feeling the perfectly lovely temperature with the hot sun hidden behind just the right amount of clouds.  I had enough time last week to slip into this so that I could ignore the majority of the pain. . . . ah I miss last week.

This week . . . this week . . . Well we say in the tiny waiting room which was alternately too hot or too cold.  Strange people kept talking to me even though I was alternately on my cell, watching tv, reading and talking to my friend Sherrie (gotta love that Sherrie she stuck it out with me!).  They were nice people, it's just that I am always anxious before these procedures so it is hard for me to talk to strangers and not be a little short.  Takes a lot of concentration, so maybe it was a good thing.  So I go back and I sit in a chair for a while.  Then they put me in a bed for a while.  Then they wheel me to a place on my back.  They lock the beds in place and I roll over.  They yank my pants down to the point where I could have just taken them off and been just a little more exposed.  Then there is the adjustment of the x-ray machine.  Did I mention that Dr. Gera, the nurse and the assistant are all wearing lead coveralls!!!!  This always alarms me on the inside, but I have so much other stuff going on that I ignore that.  So they do all that and then the wiping starts.  There is lots of alcohol and iodine and more of each.  Then they put a blind over my back that isolates that area in which they will work.  He says "I am about to put a shot in your back and sometimes this hurts people."  I really do appreciate the warning, but it just makes every muscle near his hand tense up which is going to make it hurt.  Now I didn't have time to go to my pleasant meadow (I was going to ride horses this time.) so it was all I could do to untense my butt muscles as I felt a whole lot of stinging.  I told the nurse it was more surprising than it was painful.  She and I both agreed that penicillin was waaaay more painful than what just happened to me.  I barely had time to wonder how she knew about the shot I had just gotten.  So that was a numbing shot that was put into my back and he started right in on the real shot!  OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.  That was pretty much the only thought I had for a moment as I stopped breathing and just lived in pain for about 45 seconds.  Someone said "I am going to hold your leg."  I said "Please do."  So polite in my pain I was.  So then it was over and he was gone and they were rolling me back over and wheeling me out.  Blood pressure going in 122/73 blood pressure coming out 151/84.  He said that this would give me quite a bit of relief, but I really could barely hear what he was saying through my pain.

Maintenant voici I sit in lots of pain because I have been sitting up for about three hours straight taking online quizzes and studying for a literature test.  So not prepared for the literature test.  But that is something else entirely.

Oh with my anxiety over the last week or so I lost 5 pounds!  I can barely eat when I am upset or anxious!

1. If there was one thing about your body you could change, what would it be?
I would like a flat stomach

2. Would you rather lose 10lbs or 10 points off your IQ?
10lbs

3. When you look in the mirror, are you happy with what you see?
Pretty much.

4. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Not radically, just various shades of brown and occasionally some really light brown highlights (like right now!)

5. How often do you weigh yourself?
Weekly.  It used to be daily, but that was depressing. lol

I took a few days off last week, because my friend had a total hysterectomy and I was going to help her out some.  Then apparently her mother decided to remember that she had a child and she has been up here off and on all week to help her out.  That was fine with me, because it gave me a few days off to just focus on my work etc.

I saw Dr. Gera this morning and he told me basically that I needed to be a good diabetic.  He said that I was too young to have all of these problems.  But these problems started before I had this major weight gain.  I think it might go back to a car accident.  Who knows.  All I know is that my back hurts.  Anyway, he is going to put needles in my back and do that again.  I am dreading it so much.  I wonder if they will prescribed me some valium.  Plus, I have to have an IV!!!!  Ugh, I am not looking forward to this at all.  My friend Sherrie is going to drive me and take me home. 

This means I have to tell my boss that I have to have two days off over the next couple of weeks, plus I am taking a week off in November when Larz goes to LA.  She is not going to be happy with me. Ah well.  I am hoping that maybe I can quit around spring break.  We will see.